Hubris and Overestimation

It is no secret that when the English begin to win at anything they become total imbeciles. This is not limited to the players but is a practise adopted by the nation at large. I have grim memories of working as a clerk in Burgess Hill after the 2002 Rugby World Cup and was first hand to witness an entire office, who for the most part of the year would dismiss the sport as a toff's game, turn into a pack of jeering and swaggering hotshots, closely resembling a troop of babboons. Need we call to mind who won the Ashes in 2005, resplendent with O.B.E.'s, to come hurtling down to humility the following year. The English are sporting fools. In the rare event that they succeed they are painful. The rest of the time they still carry themselves like a pack of eejits. Think of what they did to poor Tim Henman? Here- witness an exquisite example of this most silly trait.

AND YOU KNOW THERE IS SOME SILLY TART ON PAGE THREE

Regardless of who wins tonight's final the English are going to be annoying. Particularly the fans. They are the most unfit, unclothed, unprepossessing poor excuse for specimens of the human species that are to be found. To be fair England have been fantastic in this tournament. Dominating with early batting (they are all South African), and controlled, malicious bowling. Add to this the rare feat of an English team that carries itself like a brood of hungry predators, as a result fielding superbly and intimidating their opposition. However the flush of winning is beginning to exhibit itself in petulant displays of haughty self-absorbtion. Several members of the team seem to think it is their duty to boss about anybody else they can see. Players are becoming over-exacting. Mike Yardy looked like a schizophrenic the way he chastised himself while trotting out to the outfield the other night. He had merely given a bit of width allowing a ball to be sniped out to the boundary, ignoring the fact that his four overs went for a mere 21 runs strangling the Sri Lankans and making a meal of the match. It doesn't help that the man who should be keeping a cap on all this, the captain Paul Collingwood, is dashing about making stupid statements such as,

Let's be honest, there aren't too many areas we can improve on.

AN EXAMPLE TO US ALL

While England occassionally find it within themselves to perform as a team possessed, they will be facing Australia, a team who makes a profession of this habit. Personally I couldn't care less who wins but it promises to be a cracker of a match. Its a shame that this specialist limited overs side differs so greatly from the test team or else there might be a suggestion of the English delivering in the next Australian summer. One must always live in hope though. Beware of the sweating, shirtless middle aged men and their annoying looking wives who will undoubtedly make spectacles of themselves between deliveries. Beware also the straw hat, sunglassed, Australian flag as cloak, hoon who will try to compete. In all hope we can avoid the histrionics and watch a thumping good game of cricket. Or we can watch a pack of pompous twits who are taken with themselves, self-destruct. All promises decent entertainment.

THE NEW BREED- WHATS ON THE SHADOWY SIDE OF HIS FACE?